How to Tell an Irresistible Three-Minute Story
A mentor of mine recently asked me a great question:
“How should I tell a story about some life event to my child or a friend? I feel like I lose people and they just start talking or jump off on a tangent and the moment is lost. I think with intent and practice, I should be able to craft some short 3-5 minute tales that are enjoyable.”
Now it’s important to understand that this guy has great stories to tell. He’s a successful entrepreneur, a leader, a good Dad and he’s been through his share of rough sledding.
So what he’s really asking is how he can transmit what is most important to him in a way that others will understand, remember and be able to share.
It’s a skill that is very useful for pitching, selling and persuading but storytelling also multiplies your impact as a person.
Free Live Session
Since the best way to craft a story is to tell it to someone. I’m going to do a live session Friday, March 3rd at 11am EST.
You can sign up here. (Google Meet info in the calendar link)
The format is simple. You’ll tell your story to me and a helpful audience, then we’ll help you make it better. Don’t be scared, it will be fun.
Why this is the best way
Any good comedian will tell you that they cannot develop material without going up in front of an audience. And here’s the interesting part, while developing an act -- working on their stories -- even the best in the world die. Like a lot.
Here’s Jerry Seinfeld from the documentary Comedian:
Jerry Seinfeld DYING!
All the rest of the advice in this email is just to get you to the place where you can tell your story for the first time. That’s the truly hard part. After that greatness is a matter of iteration.
First, Make Them Feel. Then Let them Think.
Storytelling is an emotional craft.
Your goal is to create emotion in your audience. This can be any emotion you like -- I prefer humor -- any emotion is better than no emotion. The emotional charge is what carries your listener or reader through the story. The more they care, the better you are doing.
Even for the most technical story, emotion must be involved. Engineers are surprisingly passionate about the right way and wrong way to do things. And everyone alternately fears for their job and hopes for promotion.
Emotion drives EVERY story.
The Framework
If you’re into narrative theory or geeking out on story, I’ve got a section at the end for you. For everyone else, here’s what you need to know.
Problem
Action
Result
There are a limited number of story forms and structures and an endless debate on what they are. Are there three? Ten? Two?
No matter how many there are, they all incorporate a problem-action-result structure.
PROBLEM
Your story can be about you. Or anything or anybody. But the problem MUST be relevant to your audience.
When you accurately describe someone else’s problem, they trust you AND think you must know something about the solution that they don’t. This is truly bizarre to me, but that’s the way it is.
For example, I know what’s it like to be telling a story that’s really important to you, but when you look at the person you’re telling it to, you can clearly see that they are bored. They’re looking off some, checking their phone, giving you fake nods and endless “un-hunhs”.
Or: There once was a woman named April who had trouble speaking up for herself at work. Whenever the time came for her to speak she would stammer a little bit, wander from the topic and then shut down. It wasn’t even that people didn’t want to hear what she had to say, it was that, in the moment, she felt like she didn’t have anything worth saying. But then later, it would all come out in a jumble. And so, with each passing day, she got quieter and quieter.
Customer Problem v. Your Problem
If you are writing a sales story or trying to use a story to explain a technical product, you must be extra careful to make sure the problem is a customer problem and not your problem.
If you’re a pipe manufacturer, you have a problem of making sure pipe and fittings fall within tolerances. And that can be a dramatic and heroic story. Careers can be made and broken, fortunes can be won and lost, and families can be torn apart, all against an epic backdrop of betrayal and industrial espionage played out one nanometer at a time.
But that’s not the story the handyman needs to hear to convince him to buy the pipe. He’s got a totally different problem that tight tolerances might solve for him. He wants to hear about how he can do a job faster without having to come back to fix leaks.
Betrayal, intrigue and high school drafting.
If you don’t think that technical stories can be Shakespearean in scope, In the session I will tell you the story of how the three largest Zero Turning Radius Mower Manufacturers all came to be located in Lincoln, Nebraska. It’s a short, but amazing tale of betrayal, intrigue and high school drafting.
ACTION
You can have a story without character descriptions. But you can’t have a story without action.
In the earlier example, April’s inability to speak up means she’s shrinking as a person. The question we want the story to answer is what is she going to do about it? Nothing is still a choice. Does she get fired? Does she get help? What action does she take?
A variety of characters could come in and help April, most notably “The Guide” (think Yoda) but only the protagonist can act.
The action does not have to succeed. In fact, the very first of [Pixar’s 22 Story Rules] is: You Admire a Character More For Trying Than For Their Successes.
RESULT
What happened?
So let’s say April did nothing. And one day layoffs came and she got fired because nobody understood the value she could provide. Now poor April has become a cautionary tale.
Now, if that is depressing, remember that, in stories, no result is final. Now she’s just got a new problem. Finding a new job. And, it can certainly be the case that she grows from this experience.
Often, the best results in stories are unexpected. And the best stories are about where the first result in the chain of problems isn’t so good.
Real-Life Stories
The minute you tell a story, it’s not real life anymore. And the biggest problem that people is that they allow what 'really happened’ to get in the way of the tale they are trying to tell.
You have to map your real-world experience onto story form. Then cut away every detail that’s not needed.
Real life is messy, and has too much information to make a good story. Think about “reality” TV. There’s no reality about it. Even if the crew isn’t manufacturing drama in the structure of the show, they are certainly creating it by cutting the boring parts out.
But Don’t Generalize
David Mamet has a brilliant piece of advice that applies to anything you will ever write or say. “We can infer the general from the specific, but not the other way around.” So work to have as many specific details and images as possible in your story. Don’t force them, they’re there. But don’t be afraid to go deep on one image.
If you are telling a story about when you were in school, you can spend some time describing your strange-looking history teacher.
And Don’t Teach the Story Before You Tell It.
People will always engage more deeply when you leave the interpretations to them.
If I start with, “Here’s why it’s always important to tell the truth” I’ve told you NOT to listen to the story. Or that I think you are too stupid to draw the correct conclusion from my tale. Either way, it’s bad.
But if I say, “Hmm. Telling the truth, that can be tough. Let me tell you a story about that.” And THEN I tell the tale, I leave the power of interpretation in your hands. When I leave the mystery on the table the story becomes more engaging.
Getting your Story Together
If you want to participate in the live session, your story can be anything. You can craft a joke or an opener for a speech, a toast for your friend’s wedding, or whatever you like. But if you are stuck here are a few prompts to encourage you to dig for deeply meaningful stuff.
The worst day of my life.
The smartest decision I’ve ever made.
The worst boss I’ve ever had.
The most I’ve ever helped anyone.
The one story I’d want to tell my younger self.
The biggest obstacle you’ve overcome.
The closest you’ve ever been to death.
The most money you’ve ever lost.
The highest stakes negotiation you’ve ever been a part of.
The hardest ethical decision you’ve ever had to make.
Until Next Week,
Patrick
APPENDIX: Story Theory/Music Theory
Ask any songwriter — too much theory will mess you up. It’s the same with stories. I think it’s better to practice by spinning yarns, but if you must, here are my cliff notes on narrative theory.
I’ve read everything I can get my hands on about how narrative works. If I had to pick one book to rule them all it would be Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories by Stephen Booker. It is an amazing, absolute brick of a book.
If you want the quickest introduction, I suggest five blog posts by Dan Harmon: Story 101. Irreverent and essential. It’s the fastest useful introduction to Heroes Journey type thinking.
If you love film, the best intro book on story structure for screenwriting is Save the Cat by Blake Synder
I’m working hard to share the most useful stuff I know.
If you have a topic that would be useful to you or your team, hit reply and tell me about it.